long, but necessary

a blog, really? i honestly cannot believe i am actually doing this. i have never been a fan of sharing my thoughts with the world, yet here i am. the main reason i decided to start this blog is to chronicle the events of my summer and the impact i know it will have on my life. i am returning to honduras. yes, returning.

last summer the Lord allowed me to travel to san pedro sula, honduras. my team and i were supposed to be there for a week loving on orphans and sharing the gospel with them. after meeting the children at nueva esperanza orphanage, i knew i would never be the same. i also knew that they had captured a place in my heart and made it there own, and i was never going to get that place back. sunday and monday were amazing. we did vacation bible school and played. those two days could not have been more perfect. i knew that i needed to soak in every single moment, embrace every single child, and remember every little smile. i fully expected to see every single one of their beautiful faces the following thursday; however, the Lord had a different plan.

early wednesday morning around 4:00, a gunman broke into the mission house my team and i were staying at in siguatepeque, honduras. [on tuesday, we had traveled two hours south to do some work on the grounds of la providencia world ministries.] he walked passed the room i was staying in with four other girls, passed the room with all of the men on our trip, and then entered the room with the seven other girls on my team. while he was in the room he lined the girls up, held them at gunpoint, and robbed each one of them. he then proceeded to carry the girls into the bathroom where his intention was to rape one of the girls. thankfully, he told the other girls to get out and they were able to scream for help.

that is when i woke up. at 4:20 i awakened to the sound of loud screams and hysterical crying. “he has a gun, he has nikki, he is going to rape her!” barely making out what they had said, my roommate and i shoved the girls in a closet. as we were both making our way into the closet we heard the shots. three ear-piercing gun shots, the loudest, most terrifying noise i have ever heard. who had he shot? were they still alive? a million thoughts ran through my head.

a few minutes later, i walked out of the room and followed the trail of blood. our translator, erin had been shot trying to take down the intruder. by the grace of God, the bullet had only hit his toe. the entire day consisted of two hours at the hospital where erin’s toe was amputated and nikki (the girl who was sexually violated) underwent an intense physical examination to check for sexually transmitted diseases. the following eight hours were spend at the local police station.

honestly, most of that day was a blur. but the one thing i can remember was the overwhelming sense of peace and comfort that flooded over me in those dark, scary hours. the Lord has never been more real to me than he was in those moments. i had a peace that i could never create on my own. this peace was from my Lord of Peace, my YAHWEH-SHALOM.

the leaders of our team decided it would be best if we left. so, on thursday my entire team and i left honduras. my heart was hurt, i wanted to stay. i did not feel like my work was complete. i struggled the following months. as i wrestled with all that i happened, i prayed for God to allow me to return.

he is so faithful! this summer, i will be in honduras from july 8- august 7 loving orphans and sharing the good news of Christ! one of the passages that brought so much comfort to me while i was in honduras was Job 42: 2-5

“i know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? therefore i have uttered what i did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which i did not know. hear and i will speak; i will question you and you make it known to me. i had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.”

it is my prayer that i will see God and all that he has for me during this great adventure.

join me as i taste and see…