more beautiful than jewels.

tonight, the thoughts of my time in honduras are weighing heavily on my heart. at the center of these thoughts is my sweet friend nora. i met nora the first day i went to casitas. she automatically took to me, and i to her. it didn’t take long before she started really opening up to me. she shared the stories of her past. her entire life had been marred by abuse, neglect, and sadness. despite all of this sorrow, there was a hope in nora’s eyes. a hope that her life does have meaning, and that she was created for a purpose. after she finished telling me her story, nora grabbed my hands and pulled them to her heart. she told me how she prayed that i would never have to experience what she had to endure. nora told me that i was a jewel, a reflection of God and his love, and that she would always carry me in her heart.

my sweet nora, you are the jewel. you are the reflection of God’s love. I will always carry you in my heart. you are beautiful, you are humble, and you have taught me more than you will ever know.

te quiero mucho.

“for the LORD takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation.” --Psalm 149:4

thankful.

i first laid eyes on my sweet niece ada laine weathers on october 13th. she was only thirty minutes old. i’ve never seen anything so beautiful, so perfect. i was finally getting to see the sweet little miracle i had prayed for the past nine months, and i was absolutely in love with her.

one of my favorite passages has always been psalm 139, “…for you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” words cannot describe how truly amazing it was walk alongside my sister anna during her pregnancy. i saw the Lord completely transform her, as he knitted sweet ada together inside of her womb. my entire family was together when we found out this precious baby was a girl. as soon as I saw the sonogram psalm 139 became so much sweeter…I was actually getting to see it.

“the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” Job 33:4

God breathed life into ada at 6:45 pm, and i am so thankful. i honestly didn’t think i could love so much. this little girl has absolutely stolen her aunt’s heart and i cannot imagine life without her. even before she was born i prayed for her salvation, that she will one day know the love of Christ. i pray she is a strong woman. a woman who finds her significance in Christ and not in the fleeting pleasures of this world. there are so many wishes, dreams, and hopes that i have for her. but my deepest desire, my deepest hope is that she treasures Christ above all else.

“I will give to the LORD the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the LORD, the Most High.” Psalm 7:17

beautiful creations.

"Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend their not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes."

- David Platt

maryuri.

joel.

louban.

dennis.

cynthia.

daniela.

cyndi.

william.

nora.

kengi.

angie.

"And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation." Mark 16:15

gozandome.

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God..." 1 John 3:1

taste and see that the Lord is good, there is nothing my heart desires more. san pedro sula is a beautiful city with breathtaking mountains and mesmerizing sunsets. it is so easy to see God's hand in these stunning creations. even more beautiful are his precious creations- children. never did i anticipate how much the Lord would use these children to reveal Himself to me.

nueva esperanza orphanage is filled with precious children ranging from 3 months to 12 years of age. at first glance, it is a pretty depressing place. a tall concrete wall boarders the perimeter of the orphanage. in fact, the orphanage was originally built and used to house prisoners. and now it is a place that over 150 kids call "home." we spent most of our time in the nursery. there are over 30 infants and young toddlers and about 6 kids who are severely mentally handicapped. because there is only one worker for all of these children, our help was greatly needed. for four weeks my fellow interns and i were able to love on these precious creations. as each day passed i could feel myself becoming more and more attached to these babies. every day i left them, i knew i was one day closer to leaving them... and not coming back. my heart broke every time i thought about it. it was during this time that the Lord taught me so much about trusting in Him and having faith. i knew that i would probably never see the fruits of loving, holding, feeding, and playing with these orphans. i probably would never see most of these babies again. but my God is a faithful God and i have complete confidence that his purpose will be fulfilled.

"I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted... Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." Job 42: 2, 3

i was also blessed to have been able to spend time with the older children at nueva (ages 3-12). i can honestly say that i have never seen such beauty. these children loved without reserve. it didn't matter who i was or what i had to offer them. they still loved me, whole heartedly. i could see Christ so clearly in them. the Lord used these children to show me what true joy is. i will share more on this at the end of the post.

casitas adolescent home for girls is filled with some of the most amazing young women i have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. the girls (ages 13-19) are in this government-run home for a variety of reasons. some of the girls are in as discipline. a large majority of the girls are brought there because they have been raped repeatedly and need protection. others have been orphaned since birth and this is just another "home" that they will eventually outgrow. and some have been abandoned, brought there by their families who no longer want them. each girl has a different personality and a different story. yet, they have one thing in common... they are all broken and in desperate need of love. there is no way i could share all the Lord taught me through them. i hope to write individual blogs about individual girls who have blessed my life beyond measure. i so desperately want you to know them. honestly, i don't think i ever understood what true and selfless love looked like until i met these girls. i can't wait to share their stories with you and i know you will be blessed.

so, about two weeks into my trip i was still waiting for that "ah-ha" moment (as my friend mrs. debbie calls them, life moments). the moment where everything comes together and i know God's purpose for sending me to honduras. this moment came in the form of a precious (and very spunky) 8-year old girl named kengi. mary elizabeth had told me all about kengi when she got home and i honestly could not wait to meet her. she also told me that she had taught kengi a song. as soon as i met kengi, i wanted her to sing it for me. for about five minutes i tried everything i could to get this little girl to sing for me. let me tell you, she was not going to give in to my pleading. keep in mind i am attempting to talk to her in spanish so she probably couldn't understand a word i was saying. :) for ten minutes this little girl refused to look at me or even smile at me. i was beginning to think all of my pleading was not going to be rewarded. finally, she agreed to sing to me but only if we went off away from the other kids. i agreed and she led me to a corner. i squatted down so i was looking into her big brown eyes. as soon as she began to sing, her eyes lit up. she was singing with her whole heart. as i sat there and watched her, i began to weep. this little orphan who had nothing, not even her own bed, was singing... joyfully!! it was at the moment the Lord completely broke me.

"joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God." -elisabeth elliot. i have always loved this quote, but never truly understood what it meant until the Lord used kengi to show me. joy is not some fleeting emotion. joy is a fire inside that cannot be extinguished. as believers we have joy not because we have a family, or riches, or material possessions. we have joy because we have Christ!! what an overwhelming and sweet truth.

"I will not leave you as orphans; i will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live." John 14: 18-19

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

i will leave you with the words to the song kengi sang for me.

spanish:¨Gozándome, levantaré mi voz a ti, del cielo me bendecirás, mis manos alzaré. Tu majestad tiernamente me abrazará,y a mi corazón hace cantar, gozándome."

english: "Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee. With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high. Your Majesty gently washes over me. Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully."

i have tasted and i have seen, and i can truly say the Lord is good.

kengi.

return to me.

hello again from honduras!!

i just wanted to give you a quick update. my time here so far has been wonderful!! i have been blessed to be able to spend the past week at casitas (a home for girls ages 12-19). the reasons for the girls being in the home vary. rape, discipline, protection, and abandonment are some of the reasons the girls are brought to the home.

last wednesday i saw a girl sitting in the corner all by herself. as i got closer to her, i realized she was crying. i sat down beside her and asked for her name. she had a piece of sidewalk chalk and wrote out her name, Sheley Paola. she told me that she had only been at casitas for five days. she was brought here because she had gotten in trouble. she missed her family and desperately wanted to see them. i really did not know how to respond. the only thing i knew to tell her was that God loves her more than her family ever could and the only place to find comfort is in his arms. she nodded her head yes. i held for a few minutes and let her cry on my shoulder.

she picked up the sidewalk chalk and wrote ¨regresa a mi¨in english, return to me. i took the chalk and wrote ¨si.¨

it is my prayer that the Lord would draw sheley to himself, that she might know the love of her heavenly father. please continue to pray for the girls at casitas. for the girls who know the Lord, pray that the Lord would strengthen their faith as he molds them into the women he would have them be. for the girls who do not know the Lord please pray that God would reveal himself to them.

there is no doubt in my mind that the Lord is going to use the girls at casitas to do great things for his name. i feel so thankful to be able to spend time with God´s beautiful creations. i am loving the journey the Lord is taking me on and i am so glad you are taking it with me.

:)

hola!

hola from honduras!!

i have officially been in honduras four days!! it feels so great to be back in this amazing country!! i love the girls on my team terra and christina!! they are so precious and we are getting along beautifully. the past two days we have visited the transitional home and today we visited the girls at casitas. they were all soooo beautiful!! as soon as i got there margerie (a girl at casitas) brought me a picture elizabeth had given her. after that i had about 50 girls run to me asking me if i was maria´s sister. they were all telling me how much they loved maria and how beautiful she was. (sweet lizzy, i definitely think you underestimated the impact you made on all of these girls. they absolutely adore you!!)

i was able to somewhat communicate with the girls. i will definitely blog more in depth after i spend more time with girls. :)

we have visited the girls at the transitional home the past two days. (they all remember you lizzy). they are really great girls. i have played the wii with them!! they are all so good at it. my competitive side has come out and the girls think it is so funny when i get mad and start talking to myself!! (thank you dad for my competitive side)

tomorrow we hope to visit nueva esperanza and las brisas. i absolutely cannot wait!! the Lord is already showing me and teaching me so much. i have never been more content in my surroundings. i love this place, i love these people, i love everything!! i would ask that you pray for me. i have struggled with some feelings of inadequacy. i have no idea if what i am saying and doing are what the girls need to hear. it is my prayer that God would guide my tongue and my heart.

even though the little spanish i speak is horrible, and i have a hard time understanding the girls, i trust that the Lord will work through me.

the Lord told Moses:

¨Who has made man´s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.¨ Exodus 4:11-12

thank you for taking this journey with me!!

i´ll update again as soon as i can!!

:)

faithful.

last summer i told the children at nueva esperanza orphanage that i would be back in two day to see them. my team and i never made it. i was absolutely devastated. i had made a promise to these children that i would return to them. within a matter of seconds my plans changed right before my eyes and there was nothing i could do.

about two months ago i came across Deuteronomy 7:9 it reads,

“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.”

my God is the faithful God. not only is he allowing me to return to honduras, he is allowing me to work with the same children at nueva esperanza. my heart is full. i feel so undeserving of this opportunity and so humbled that my Father would choose to send me. i am literally aching to be back and love on God’s beautiful creations.

i will leave you with some pictures i took last summer while at nueva. i should warn you, these children have a way with capturing hearts…so be prepared to fall in love.

dwelling in hope.

i came across this passage today and found it so encouraging.

"I saw the Lord always before me,

for he is at my right hand that I may not be shaken;

therefore my heart was glad and my tongue rejoiced;

my flesh also will dwell in hope.

For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,

or let your Holy One see corruption.

You have made known to me the paths of life;

you will make me full of gladness with your presence."

Acts 2:24-28

long, but necessary

a blog, really? i honestly cannot believe i am actually doing this. i have never been a fan of sharing my thoughts with the world, yet here i am. the main reason i decided to start this blog is to chronicle the events of my summer and the impact i know it will have on my life. i am returning to honduras. yes, returning.

last summer the Lord allowed me to travel to san pedro sula, honduras. my team and i were supposed to be there for a week loving on orphans and sharing the gospel with them. after meeting the children at nueva esperanza orphanage, i knew i would never be the same. i also knew that they had captured a place in my heart and made it there own, and i was never going to get that place back. sunday and monday were amazing. we did vacation bible school and played. those two days could not have been more perfect. i knew that i needed to soak in every single moment, embrace every single child, and remember every little smile. i fully expected to see every single one of their beautiful faces the following thursday; however, the Lord had a different plan.

early wednesday morning around 4:00, a gunman broke into the mission house my team and i were staying at in siguatepeque, honduras. [on tuesday, we had traveled two hours south to do some work on the grounds of la providencia world ministries.] he walked passed the room i was staying in with four other girls, passed the room with all of the men on our trip, and then entered the room with the seven other girls on my team. while he was in the room he lined the girls up, held them at gunpoint, and robbed each one of them. he then proceeded to carry the girls into the bathroom where his intention was to rape one of the girls. thankfully, he told the other girls to get out and they were able to scream for help.

that is when i woke up. at 4:20 i awakened to the sound of loud screams and hysterical crying. “he has a gun, he has nikki, he is going to rape her!” barely making out what they had said, my roommate and i shoved the girls in a closet. as we were both making our way into the closet we heard the shots. three ear-piercing gun shots, the loudest, most terrifying noise i have ever heard. who had he shot? were they still alive? a million thoughts ran through my head.

a few minutes later, i walked out of the room and followed the trail of blood. our translator, erin had been shot trying to take down the intruder. by the grace of God, the bullet had only hit his toe. the entire day consisted of two hours at the hospital where erin’s toe was amputated and nikki (the girl who was sexually violated) underwent an intense physical examination to check for sexually transmitted diseases. the following eight hours were spend at the local police station.

honestly, most of that day was a blur. but the one thing i can remember was the overwhelming sense of peace and comfort that flooded over me in those dark, scary hours. the Lord has never been more real to me than he was in those moments. i had a peace that i could never create on my own. this peace was from my Lord of Peace, my YAHWEH-SHALOM.

the leaders of our team decided it would be best if we left. so, on thursday my entire team and i left honduras. my heart was hurt, i wanted to stay. i did not feel like my work was complete. i struggled the following months. as i wrestled with all that i happened, i prayed for God to allow me to return.

he is so faithful! this summer, i will be in honduras from july 8- august 7 loving orphans and sharing the good news of Christ! one of the passages that brought so much comfort to me while i was in honduras was Job 42: 2-5

“i know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? therefore i have uttered what i did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which i did not know. hear and i will speak; i will question you and you make it known to me. i had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.”

it is my prayer that i will see God and all that he has for me during this great adventure.

join me as i taste and see…